Happiness...Don't Buy into it.

So I'm sitting here, minding my own business, listening to internet radio while weaving tails into my (finally) finished scarves, (more about those later...maybe.) when I hear a commercial for Wal-Mart.
A woman's well modulated voice filters over the air waves... "Making them happy..." a young girl's voice pipes up saying, "oh, I love it!", and the woman finishes with "...that's what I want for Christmas."

I am disturbed by the innuendo that you can buy a child's happiness with a Christmas present.

Hold on a minute while I drag my soapbox over here. You might want to get comfortable...

Now before I go off on a tear here, may I interject that I am NOT anti-gift giving. By no means. I love Christmas. I love the anticipation of what special gifts Christmas may bring.

It just makes me so crazy that there are people out there who still think that giving kids (and not just kids) lots of presents for Christmas will make for a meaningful Christmas! They think that they need lots of stuff to open on Christmas and/or spend a boatload of money on one "big" gift.

And the incredible thing is, they set themselves up for it every year by beginning the season with the age old question..." What do you want for Christmas?" Which, in my mind, teaches our children to think: "how much can we milk our parents and grandparents for this year?"

It has occurred to me as I look at our present economic situation that in our attempt to create our own happiness, we have created our misery. Because that "gimme" attitude is not limited to Christmas. And it's not limited to children.

We are selfish, self-centered creatures. Funny how that's not a behavior that has to be taught.

I wonder what would happen if we spent one Christmas not thinking about what we would get, but what we would give?

There are several ways to practice the discipline of thinking of others by giving to others. There's Operation Christmas Child, Angel Tree, and Toys for Tots to name a very few.

How about starting in your own home? Get children involved in picking out other family member's gifts. Have them make something of their own creation for grandmas, grandpas, aunts, uncles and cousins. (Not to mention mom and dad.)

Why not nurture your own creativity and resourcefulness? What could you make or do for someone that would be more meaningful than a mass produced gift that you're hoping they like?

Who knows?

You might actually find some happiness along the way...

Here's Where I Try My Hand at Raising the Children of the World

Let's just say I'm a woman who knows her own mind. Being fully convinced of my position usually eliminates any possibility that I might be wrong. *insert eye roll here* Observing something that is clearly wrong and being unable to fix it drives me up the proverbial Wall.

Take my clients for instance. They come in telling me about all sorts of things in their life. Relational issues with their spouse and behavioral problems with their kids. Since I consider myself the cheapest therapy they'll ever get, I avail my services to them and tell them how to fix that child that just won't behave.

Hey, I have a captive audience.

Yesterday, I was cutting this dad's hair. I've been doing his hair for years. The whole family has been in my chair at one point or another. His wife passed away unexpectedly several years ago and he has since remarried a great lady. He has a teenage daughter and son. The daughter will be a senior next year. The son is a couple years younger.

The daughter got a car for her sixteenth birthday--a tradition I cannot fathom. ("Let's give an immature teenager a powerful machine and turn them loose on the streets!") She is pretty free to come and go at will, but has an 11(!)pm curfew. (What 17yr old needs to be ANYWHERE except at home after 9:30 at night?! But I digress) So the other night, he watches the end of the news and his daughter still isn't home and he calls her and asks where she is. "Oh, I just stopped by to see this friend, I'm on my way home." He said, she wasn't in trouble, he just wanted to know where she was.

?!?!?!?!?!

What is the point of the curfew if it isn't enforced? He talks about how she does pretty much what she wants to do and she's not a bad kid so...???
What? Are you afraid you'll hurt her feelings if you get on to her? She's playing you like a fiddle, man. She doesn't follow any of the rules you set up for her because they are all a sham. Nothing happens when she breaks one! There are no consequences for her actions and she is going to be hit smack in the face with a little reality discipline when she hits the real world.

She does not respect you because you are not a man of your word.

Unfortunately, I can't fix that.