Just Call Me Rabbit

Sound the trumpets! I have my laptop complete with new powercord!

But now...
No time. No time.
I'm late, I'm late for a very important date! I'm late!

I've begun my class with Traci, but aside from accessing downloads, I've not had time to DO anything! I've had little details--like work--slowing me down!

Oh, look at the time!
I feel like Rabbit in Alice in Wonderland.

I'd love to visit longer, but a little girl needs to go to school and I have to go to work.
Again!

(addendum: in light of the current economical situation, please know that I am incredibly grateful for my job and the busyness God has provided me at work. I, like every one else, struggle with a longing to do everything I love and sometimes I just lament the lack of time to "do it all".)

I Can't Talk About it...

I can't blog today because it's my birthday and I probably wouldn't talk about anything except the fact that it's my birthday.

I've heard that it's bad manners. Telling people that it's your birthday, I mean.

Because then they feel obligated to wish you a happy birthday. (Not that I mind if they do.)

Then, there's the fact that I'm now blogging this post with only two hours left to spare on my birthday day so it's seems rather pointless to even mention it at this point.

So I won't.

If you somehow find out that it's my birthday, just remember...

You didn't hear it from me.

I Can Stop Anytime I Want To...But I Don't Want To

Something dangerous has moved into my neighborhood.

And I am powerless against it.

It will take everything I have...
and I will gladly give it.

Oh what will I do?

I want to stop, but alas, the damage has been done.

I'm hopelessly addicted.

So, from now on, I think I'll just cut out the middle-man and have my clients make their checks payable to....

Hobby Lobby...addiction fund.

Watch My Weekend Fly By

I woke up this morning and sat on the side of the bed, my head in my hands.

Thursday.

How did we get here? Again. So fast?

I automatically dressed to go to the weight lifting class at the gym. Then as my brain began kicking in, I thought about going to the gym, but working out on my own instead of going to the class. I think I'm getting a little bored.

So here I am all dressed to go to the gym and I'm not going. Because after further thought, I've decided to stay home and work out. Come to think of it the truck is on empty. Another good reason not to drive across town.

Thursday, for me, are what Friday is for everyone else in the workforce since I'm off on Friday and Saturday. I start thinking about my weekend and what that will entail. I begin planning my course, feeling optimistic about what I'll accomplish. Sorting my schedule.

I'm already a little bummed. This weekend will be a busy one, no lazy days at home. My girl is in gymnastics camp this week which means a trip to the local waterpark Friday to top things off. I usually buy groceries on Friday which means I may look like a drowned rat unless I figure out a different time to do that. I'm due for a massage Friday as well. Pity that will be BEFORE the festivities at the water park. Maybe I can get my salon responsiblilities finished today so that won't be a factor on Friday.

I'm working Saturday from 8:30 till about 2, which isn't bad, but there goes the bulk of Saturday. Maybe not. I have no plans after work.

Sunday, at least the first half of the day will be devoted to church. After being out of church for most of this year, (a story unto itself) we've been attending a church again. It's been refreshing and encouraging. A relief to both of us who weren't too sure we'd go back to church again. (Considering that we've never, NOT gone to church, not going to church was a big deal.)

See, my weekend's gone and it hasn't even started yet! I hate when I do that!

Transparency

I think of heaven, but imagine how I want heaven to be.

Sometimes, my perception of other people's lives are how I picture a sort of heaven. Maybe it's just my concept of what I wish my idealistic life was like...

I picture myself living the life of a freewheeling, bohemian (minus the drugs and indiscriminate sex) artist in the country somewhere. I probably live a real life version of that in my actual life, but I feel so inhibited.

What would I be like if I were single?

That's probably a rather dangerous trail to think about. Perhaps at this point in my life, I feel a bit of sorrow over the fact that I've never lived as a single woman. I've always been tied to someone...parents and now husband. My independence gets in the way a lot now that it's blossomed into full flower. I have to squelch it because I can't live purely to my own pleasure, I'm married, not to mention have a child. I scratch and grab at moments to string together to call my own. I feel guilty and desperate all at once.

Sometimes, I wish I were alone and then I'm scared to death that God will punish me for thinking that by making it so.

All of these thoughts are incredibly selfish, (I take this luxury in expressing them here) but how can I be less so?