I don't think anything strikes terror in my heart quite like the words: "You are hereby summoned and commanded to lay all business aside and personally appear in the courtroom..."
It's not that I don't want to perform my civic responsibility. I think I would find it a fascinating experience, especially given all the mystery novels I enjoy. I'd like to see the real deal.
Because I am the sole income provider right now and it would cause financial hardship,( I have to be physically doing hair to make any money) I trotted over to the clerk of the court to fill out an excuse form.
As the day loomed and I hadn't heard any response to my request, I began to wonder if it was my responsibility to search out that information.
Enter one of my clients.
It so happens that she is a retired judge. I'm not one to curry favor and try to play my connections to avoid responsibility, but I asked her if she knew the answer to my question.
"Would the clerk get in touch with me or did I need to call them?" Judge asked me a few questions and took it upon herself to call, then reported to me that because I had a child 5 or under, I automatically was excused.
Didn't mean for sister to bail me out of jury duty, but who am I to look a gift horse in the mouth?
Yesterday found me "up to here" with life. I felt seriously overwhelmed and was hatching a plan to hide for the weekend.
Then I checked my messages.
"YOU ARE TO REPORT FOR JURY DUTY IN THE MORNING." She stated it twice in case I couldn't believe my ears. She was right. I couldn't.
I went into frantic panic mode. What if they select me? What if I'm out of work for a whole week? How am I going to pay the bills?
Fearless. Fear. Less.
Verses I've recently been meditating on came to mind and I took it upon myself to remind God about them.
YOU said..."Aren't two sparrows sold for only a penny? but your Father knows when any one of them falls to the ground. Even the hairs on your head are counted. So don't be afraid! You are worth much more than many sparrows. (Matthew 10:29-31 emphasis mine.) AND: "I tell you not to worry about everyday life - whether you have enough." (Matthew 6:25)
I chose to trust.
I showed up for jury duty.
I stood in line.
I practiced not fretting.
I forgot and fretted.
I presented my papers.
The clerk was quizzical.
"You're not on the list."
Now why did I get that phone call? Was it just an honest mistake? They meant to call someone else and dialed my number instead? Or did God orchestrate that to teach me a valuable lesson?
I don't know the answer to that. I do know that it is not up to me to provide for my needs. I forget that and try to take care of everything by working hard and fretting over stuff.
It's times like this that make me remember...
I have a Heavenly Father who has it well in hand.