My mind is a battlefield. Positive thoughts fighting for frequency with dark, worrisome thoughts.
I'm trying to remember to "let the peace of God rule and reign in my heart" and that "the Lord is my refuge, my rock, in Him will I trust".
I'll be on vacation next week.
You'd think I'd be over the moon, but all I can think is that I will go a whole week with no income. As a hairdresser, I only get paid for the work I do.
It's stupid, really, to be fretting over that. I look back to 6 years ago at this time when I was on strict bedrest with my pregnancy. At the time, mine was the only income--and it was non-existent. In all, we went 6 months with no income except for disability--- it took FOREVER to get paid--- and because of God's grace and mercy, we lived through it without losing our cars and house.
This whole scenario reminds me that I want control of my life. I want things planned, laid out neatly and comfortably. While I do need to plan things like our finances better and more efficiently, I can't rely totally on my ability. It is not up to me to provide for our family. It's up to my Father God to take care of us.
"Behold, God is my salvation;
I will trust, and will not be afraid;
for the LORD God is my strength and my song,
and he has become my salvation." Isaiah 12:2