My mind is a battlefield. Positive thoughts fighting for frequency with dark, worrisome thoughts.
I'm trying to remember to "let the peace of God rule and reign in my heart" and that "the Lord is my refuge, my rock, in Him will I trust".
I'll be on vacation next week.
You'd think I'd be over the moon, but all I can think is that I will go a whole week with no income. As a hairdresser, I only get paid for the work I do.
It's stupid, really, to be fretting over that. I look back to 6 years ago at this time when I was on strict bedrest with my pregnancy. At the time, mine was the only income--and it was non-existent. In all, we went 6 months with no income except for disability--- it took FOREVER to get paid--- and because of God's grace and mercy, we lived through it without losing our cars and house.
This whole scenario reminds me that I want control of my life. I want things planned, laid out neatly and comfortably. While I do need to plan things like our finances better and more efficiently, I can't rely totally on my ability. It is not up to me to provide for our family. It's up to my Father God to take care of us.
"Behold, God is my salvation;
I will trust, and will not be afraid;
for the LORD God is my strength and my song,
and he has become my salvation." Isaiah 12:2
2 comments:
Oh girl I wish you had been in church with me Sunday! Our preacher spoke about how we often "give out life to God" and then take it back, piece by piece, thinking we can do such a better job of handling things than He can. I will pray for you, for peace, and the ability to hand things over to God 100% and leave them there! I think it is something we all struggle with from time to time, so I will pray that prayer for you and you pray it for me and we both win ok? :) And by the way, come visit me at church one Sunday. I know it is a bit of a drive but we have folks come from Bluffton every Sunday and Sylvania too! (All the way to Faulkville GA!) Then we can go out for lunch, maybe drive down to the beach, and just hang out for a while.
Not being in control of the future, when really only God can be in control, is something I struggle with all the time! Especially these days. Oh, lordy, I do not like CHANGE.
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