Thursday, November 6, 2008

To Nap or Not to Nap

Thankfully, my husband and I have overall the same views on parenting.

Unless we're talking about whether or not our girl should take a nap.

He feels she should definitely take a nap and if that happens at 4 pm, that's fine. One day this week, she was getting up from a nap at 5:30 pm. Since hubby stays home with her, he craves a bit of quiet time during the day and a nap is his only hope.

I feel she should go to her room and be on her bed for a couple of hours. If she sleeps, great. If not, we'll put her to bed a little earlier. I think at 5 years old, she doesn't always have to have a nap. I think if she does nap, that she should sleep no later than 4 pm so it doesn't interfere with putting her to bed in the evening.

The challenge in having two firstborns in a marriage is that when differences of opinions arise, each is full convinced of the rightness of their opinion. And nobody budges. I've worked hard to get him in my camp. I've laid out the facts matter of factly. I've argued hotly. I've gotten mad. All to no avail. We still butt heads on this issue.

Last night, as we were again fervently discussing the situation, I wondered why I care so much about this. Is it so important for me to be right that I want to sacrifice my relationship with my husband? Marriage is challenging enough without making issues more important than they need to be.

So I'm going to (attempt to) chill out. If our girl is up till 11 or 12 at night occasionally, so be it. She'll fall asleep eventually. I'm grateful for a husband who is willing to stay home with her full time.

And I firmly believe I'm right about that.


InTheFastLane said...

That's tough, because I see it from both side. As the stay-at-home parent, I am sure that he is craving some child free time. And when kids transition out of naps, it can be a rough transition. But, on the other hand, my three year old stopped taking naps this summer. For the reason that he was staying up too late at night. And I need those night time hours too.

But, I guess you are right, that in the end, if it is doing damage to your relationship, it is not worth the fight.

hepsmom said...

Wow. You are raising your daughter too. Just because you're working to feed the fam doesn't mean you don't get a say in something like napping. Your work allows him the luxury of being able to stay home, which seems to be what he wants. Don't forget that.

ksw_rootswriter said...

Every kid is different. My kids have never slept more than 9 1/2 to 10 hours at night, so they've stayed down the "napping" path longer than some of my other friends' kids. But we have 2 types of naps: "sleeping nap" and "reading rest." All of the kids started having a "reading rest" occasionally when they were 5-6. (But usually after about 30 minutes' of reading, they would fall asleep, book in hand.) Over the summer before kindergarten, we'd up the # of rests vs. naps, because they don't get a full nap in school. The last thing the teacher needs is a kid they can't wake up because he's still used to a 2-hour-a-day nap habit.

I think you're wise, though, to not let it become a battle.