Ode To Billy Collins

Billy Collins was the Poet Laureate of the United States from 2001 to 2003. I discovered him on Prairie Home Companion recently and love his style of poems written with wit and interesting perspectives.


I started a poem last night
about my head being in the clouds.

I couldn't seem to get beyond that.


I thought about you and
your columns of artfully arranged words.
The same words I use, but not nearly so well.

I wondered how you write a poem.

Do the words flow easily or
exit your head in faltering stutters?

Do you write down fragments of phrases
that occasionally come to mind
praying that one day
they will compose themselves into a cohesive bunch?

With all the words in the English language at our disposal,
you would think that
we could pluck and choose with abandon.
Finding the right words would be
effortless.

I don't know how you do it
Billy Collins.

But I wish I could do it too.

On the Homey Front

Spending a relaxing and satisfying morning catching up with some of my favorite bloggers.
Sipping coffee while watching the light slowly sneaking into my kitchen window bathing everything with a golden glow.
Learning how to make my own bathing products--naturally.
Got the idea from angry chicken. Love her posts.

Have resurrected the fine art of hand washing my dishes since the dishwasher tripped the circuit breaker and neither is budging, I was wondering if I should just dispense with the dishwasher altogether. The expense of a new one, the electricity used...then I read this article.

I've also been researching aromatherapy. Look at all the things natural essential oils help! I've been building my stash from the local health food store and checked out a couple of books from the library. Did you know that chamomile is a muscle relaxer?

Along with my now beloved protein shakes for breakfast, (may I recommend chocolate with frozen cherries?) I also discovered these uncommon English muffins. Toasted with a little apple butter? YUM. I've also branched out into using stevia to sweeten my coffee. I feel so much better knowing that it's natural and I'm not putting chemicals into my body. (Or fewer, anyway, I'm no purist.)

I'm feeling so much better since I began eating better. I'm eating loads of vegetables, but am getting a little bored. I've eaten squash, zucchini, broccoli and mixed greens for two solid weeks! Anybody have any good ideas? I'm starting to feel like an inadvertent vegetarian!

What Kind of Mom Am I Anyway?

It rained all afternoon. I wasn't too keen on a certain someone indoors watching videos for hours on end, so I suggested we move the cars out of the carport so she could ride her tricycle. That was a Great! Idea! (Said with all the enthusiasm of Steve or --what's the new guy's name?--on Blue's Clues).

Well, as you can see, we decided to take a stroll in the rain. Using our umbrella, of course.
Which lead to this...notice that we've changed our pants at this point...they were a little wet.I'm not quite sure how it happened, but THOSE pants got wet, but we ended up looking like this!

Now, on our third costume change of the day, we dispense with the umbrella altogether and reap the benefits of the rain in our favorite digging spot.

We ended up staying outside for about 3 or 4 hours, playing all sorts of games in and out of the rain.

I'm so happy to see her exercise her imagination and tactile ablilities. I think you should not leave childhood without several good romps in the mud. If you've never done it...bless your heart, honey. You sure have missed out on one of life's greatest moments!

Sidelined...Again

Ow.

Double Ow.

So, the good news is, I've been very faithful in writing down what I am eating. I'm eating the way I'm supposed to with lots of brightly colored veggies. I'm exercising, not that I can tell anything yet, but hope springs eternal.

So, I've been trying to incorporate more cardio into my routine. This morning, I went to Body Jam, which is a fun dance/cardio class at the gym. I've only been once before and really enjoyed the fact that I'm distracted by the fact that I'm actually exercising!

Today, I'm bouncing, jumping-really doing all sorts of moves that don't come naturally to me. After one particular jump, I landed on my foot sideways which landed me on the ground in one short second. After waiting for the initial ouch to wear off, I tenderly finished the class.
Three hours later....it hurts trememdously if I walk on it and slightly less so if I'm off it.

So, my dear ones. I'm off to gulp some ibuprofen, soak in a bath of lavender and epsom salts and ice this baby.

Crap. It's always something.

Ahem....Introducing...(cue the trumpets)

I stood to the side, hands clasped over my heart, waiting to hear her first words...

Would they be profound or provoking? Winsome or witty?

I wait patiently while she finds her voice.

She does not dissapoint as she releases her verbal volley.

Go see what she said...

She's my sister!


Please do this big sis a favor and go show some bloggy love!
I'm poppin' with pride!

I'm Going Buggy

As promised, pics from the weekend. These are random and journalistic.

This is a moth we found at our back door under the light. We get some interesting looking ones sometimes. I wish I knew what kind this one is. This bud has been lassoed.

Another visitor...same day.

O.k. I'm pretty used to seeing interesting bugs visit the yard, but this was a little much for me. Especially when it seemed I saw this sight here and there all over the back yard. It's like they used my back yard as a giant bedroom!

They grow up to be big and ugly and harder to kill.


So I decided to nip it in the bud, so to speak.

This job calls for a highly skilled professional, so I pulled out the big guns.

HIYAH! DIE SUCKERS!

What? you don't have a precious four year old masquerading as a pest control agent?

Talent. Comes in all shapes and sizes.

Odd Monday

Um, Yeah.

I had a post all lined up this morning complete with a few photos, but when I got back from the gym this morning, (remember the personal trainer, dahling?) my sweet man was up and at 'em. After he got involved with helping me with figuring out Picasa...well, the fact that I'm posting at work at 4:30 in the afternoon should say a little something. I'm only posting now because I had a color who didn't show up, so I have a moment.

It was a nice, random weekend. Our town hosted a farmer's market Saturday. I was so excited! It was quite small, but the people there had the best stuff! I found homemade cheese which is delicious and some local honey which I've heard will help you deal with allergies from local flora. I'm willing to try anything at this point. Our area has pollen production that is off the charts. If you've never had allergies, when you move here to south Georgia, you will.

The weather has been absolutely gorgeous, so I took advantage of that over the weekend by working in the yard. I'll have to show you what my girl helped me do. It was a bit unusual, not your usual yard work. Hopefully, I'll have those pics tomorrow.

Welcome to Odd Monday where half the salon takes the day off, people come in one after another to buy makeup and there's no one else to help them because everyone's doing hair, clients pull the "I want something completely different today" in their normally scheduled time frame and random people walk in to sell you cancer coverage.

On the bright side, I ate lunch somewhere in the middle of all that mayhem.

I ain't going hungry, man. Not for anybody.

Thanks for Sharing

I think I've caught a computer virus.


I've been visiting HeyJules.




And I woke up this morning with an overabundance of "stuff" in my head.

Thanks for the bug, sistah.

Spastic...Surprise!

I feel great!

I don't have time to tell you about it!

I did buy a new gadget to make smoothies. I meant to buy the magic bullet until I saw this one for a quarter of the price. I made the most delicious blueberry protein shake this morning. YUMBO!

I'm also trying to chart my excercise, food and goals at http://www.fitday.com/

It appears that I'm a glutton for punishment!

Lessons on Building Confidence and Self-Assurance

I pride myself on my uniqueness.

My motto in life is, "Fight Normalcy".

However, when faced last night by a roomful of college students who were LOOKING at me as I emceed a salon event, I was feeling a bit intimidated. They with their fresh young faces and slim figures. Even my staff caused me pause as they walked around in their high heels looking glamorous. I just didn't feel stylish as I walked around in my clunky, off-brand cat head tennis shoes. Not funky, not artistic. Just ...odd. (I DID have cute hair though~!)

I get thirsty when I get nervous, so before the event started, I had a big helping of water. I was brilliant enough to go to the bathroom before I got up in front of everyone, knowing if I didn't, I'd of course, be dancing as I was speaking.

Everything seemed to go smoothly. I figured my dazzling smile would distract them from the blatant truth that I was a middle-aged mommy trying to sell them on how well we could make them beautiful(er).

Soonish, things were wrapping up and whether from nervousness or the remains of my water orgy, I had to GO again.

After finishing up "business" I realized:

The zipper on my pants had been down during my whole spiel.

Nice.

Oh, the Indignity of it All

Dahling.

That's the way you start talking when you get a personal trainer. Like I did.

This probably means I'll start wearing sunglasses so big they look like dragonfly eyes and develop a penchant for designer purses.

No offense, but I'm not that kind of "gul".

See? A personal trainer will change your life.

They are also very nosy.

On the very first day, this chick begins measuring things I've been trying to ignore for a very long time. There are just some things it's better the world doesn't find out. My waist measurement is one of them.

Then! She has the audacity to ask me what I eat and that she wants me to keep a food diary!
I mean, if I want to eat Cheet-os on my time, that's my business. It's her business to work them off my butt after I eat them.

Can I get an amen dahling?!

Make That THREE Photographers in the Family

thought I'd (finally!) show you my new haircut. What?

OOPS! I seem to have the lens pushed in tight on this self portrait. An unfortunate act on my part... now the whole world knows I need more sleep as evidenced by the lines and bags under my eyes...sigh...

Here we go! My child may be scared of that one-eyed monster considering the death grip she seems to have on my neck.

Then again, maybe she just loves me A LOT!

We are training our girl early on to take pictures, that way maybe when she's older and cares, she won't wonder what her mommy and daddy looked like (because they were always behind a camera.)

Here's an example of our prodigy's work:

I was trying to get a photo of her in action. She got me first.

Gosh, a little more fine tuning, and I'll be able to retire and put her to work! Love the classic, yet quirky shoe portraits...


What budding talent!

It's A Fashion Fiesta!

Big Mama is having a Fashion Fiesta.

Now, this is a "keepin' it real" fashion show.

Which means I won't be showing you my imaginary strappy pumps and funky platform shoes that I rarely wear. (You'd probably rather I would after seeing my wrinkled offerings...)

I wondered why I couldn't find any of my clothes and then went rummaging through the dirty clothes.

That explains this lovely t-shirt and skirt combo:


Another day, another version. This is one of my favorite skirts. It has a layered hankerchief hem. Please notice the bleach spots on the bottom of my shirt. Lovely. I'm a hairstylist, so at some point all of my clothes end up with color/bleach polka-dots.
I love graphic tees. (Can't tell can you?) They go with everything. Especially the classic t-shirt/jean combo.

Ah. My favortite t-shirt. It speaks truth to me. My favorite shoes. My other motto is: Life's short. Wear funky shoes.

Well, there you go.

I know your life has been enriched by this post.

Glad to be of service.

Jeeves!

Picture this.

I'm home for lunch. I have about 10 minutes before I have to leave to go back to work. Hubby has gone to nap for a few minutes asking me to make sure baby girl is in her room for her rest time as well.

I sit down in the kitchen at my laptop. I'm cruising. I hear my phone ring from my purse on the floor next to me. I pick it up wondering if it's the salon calling to tell me my next client cancelled, don't rush back from lunch. I look at my phone. It's my hubby.

Wha...?

I answer.

"Can you turn up the ceiling fan?"

I start laughing. Are you kidding me? I head down the hall to our bedroom.

There lays my husband in the bed under the offending ceiling fan. At this point I'm laughing so hard I can't stand up and pull the switch.

All I could think is that was something I would have done.

Error Message

Site post temporarily unavailable due to lack of brain power.

Brain is charging, however, it may be several hours before it is fully functional again.

We'll have it up and running as soon as we fix the problem.

Please be patient.

Thanks for your support.

Mrs. Green Jeans

Made the "mistake" of going to Lowe's yesterday.

One should studiously avoid Lowe's (at all costs--especially your pocketbook's) lest you find yourself mesmerized by the sheer bounty for the home owner and then find yourself commited to laying your own tile, replacing a tub AND toilet while sheetrocking and wallpapering the walls--with painted accents, of course.

Lowe's has the uncanny ability to give the home owner a "can do" mentality. "If you just buy all this cool stuff, why, the project practically does itself; it's so simple!"

Lowe's is at it's most dangerous in the spring when they have on hand every plant God ever created. You find yourself buying enough plants to landscape a small island then trying to keep them alive while you: A. try to figure out where to put them, B. find the time to tear out all the weeds, C. keep the plant alive for the remaining months while you alternate between A. and B.

Heed my advice, my friends, lest you too end up with pieces and parts to forgotten projects and plants who give you the stink-eye when you walk by, because you know that you are guilty of neglect.


Too bad Lowe's doesn't sell gardeners and handymen.

Then my life would be complete.

Welcome to the AWARD Winning Hippy Chick Blog!

I am the proud owner of my very first "bloggy bling" courtesy of the lovely Lady Em!
(I'm also the proud owner of a goofier grin, thanks to you, Lady Em.)

She writes a wonderful blog and includes stories she has written that keep me on the edge of my seat! Go see what I mean, http://thelavenderbeekeeper.blogspot.com/

She also wrote a lovely little blurb about me. So sweet.

Look! Now I'm a Cooking Blog!

Because so many of you were clamoring for the flax seed pudding recipe, (O.k., a couple of you asked about it.) here it is. I double it and use half water, half syrup. For the mix in, I use peanut butter. This is one breakfast that actually sticks with me.

Ingredients:

1/4 cup flax seed meal
1/4 cup water (some of the liquid can be sugar-free syrup, if desired)
1 egg
Sugar substitute to taste
Mixins as desired (see below)
Preparation:
Mix flax meal, egg, and water in a microwave-safe bowl. Microwave on high for about 45 seconds. Move the cooked part of the pudding towards the center of the bowl and add any mix-ins you want. Microwave for about 45-60 more seconds, depending on mix-ins (frozen fruit will need even longer cooking, as it will cool down the pudding). Stir and eat.

Possible Additions:
Fresh or frozen berries or other fruit (Low Carb Fruit List)
Unsweetened coconut
Peanut butter or other nut butters
Small cubes of cream cheese (any fat level)
Sugar-free maple or other syrup
Sugar-free jam or preserves
Chopped nuts
Nutritional Information: Each serving has 1 gram effective carbohydrate plus 9 grams fiber, 12 grams protein, and 243 calories.

Almost, but Not Quite

First of all, think you guys so much for your supportive, encouraging comments about yesterday.

Second of all, I'm putting it in the "bank" for when I'll actually need it.

I ended up talking to the funeral home a couple of times yesterday. I screwed up my courage to call and tell them I'd never done this before and hoped they would give me a bit of a "heads up" about what to expect. They couldn't have been nicer or more helpful. Did you know there is a special room called the "beauticians" room where they take care of the hair and stuff? They have several products, a special hair dryer and curling irons for the stylist to use. I asked if the styling of the hair was the same and they said yes the hair behaves the same way. You just have to spray it well so it will stay in the humidity. They told me to ask for a check after I was finished, which led to me asking how much do I charge. (Charge more than in the salon for a styling because you are making a house call and it is an abnormal circumstance.) All in all it was a very informative conversation and I was so glad I had asked. I ended up actually looking forward to the experience.

Later in the day, they called me again and told me they had good/bad news for me. They found K----'s hairstylist who is very familiar with her hair and makeup, so I wouldn't need to come after all. I told them to call me if they ever needed me and they seemed glad to have me as a contact person. Apparently this isn't something that they have people knocking doors down to do. (Wonder why? :)) I thought later about going to observe the process, but they didn't call me back so I left it. I know that they were very busy last night with two visitations, so I'll talk to them later.

I can't believe how tired I was last night. I had a headache all day long and I guess the emotional energy of dealing with the funeral home issue coupled with that whipped my butt. I feel good to go today.

Again, all of your comments warmed my heart. I fully expected some "OMG! That creeps me out!" My girls at work certainly did. I teased them and told a couple of them that I expected them to come with me.

I researched a little online and did you also know that a cosmetologist who goes to funeral homes to perform this service is called a desairologist? I'm going to see if there is any info at the library. This could be a good side job occasionally. We'll see.

Well.

As I'm fond of saying...
You just never know what a day will bring forth. Do you?

Stepping Out of the Comfort Zone

So this gentleman calls the salon yesterday afternoon and my assistant answers the phone.

She asks me if I do K---- G-----'s hair. No, I don't. The assistant walks around asking each stylist. I see her puzzlement as she tries to figure it out.

I'm beginning to get one of those feelings.

Tuesday night at knitting group we take prayer requests at the end and pray for each other. One thing that was mentioned was about this family in our town who needed prayer. The wife needed a kidney transplant and before she began that process, the husband took her on vacation to Hawaii. While there, she had a stroke and a few days later died. Her name was K---- G-----.

At the salon, my assistant couldn't find anyone who knew this lady, but the man's daughter had told him that this was the salon she used. Then my assistant suddenly puts him on hold and looks at me. "Oh my God, he just freaked me out so bad. He said she died and he needs someone to do her hair!"

That confirmed my feeling so I took the phone and spoke to the man apologizing for not knowing who her stylist was, but offering my services to him. He accepted.

So tonight, when I finish work at 7pm, I'm going to the funeral home to do something I've never done before.

I'm glad.

I'm glad to do something to show that I care.
A tangible way to offer my condolences.

What's That Smell?

So, I worked out this morning for the second day in a row.

Hurray me!

(The term "smug and self-satisfied" comes to mind about now.)

I amused myself by watching this big, bad macho guy pretend like he was working out. He'd go to a weight machine, look at it, sit down, think. then do like 2 reps. He repeated this stellar performance alternating back and forth between two different machines. Then, when I blinked, he'd left. I guess he felt he'd had a well rounded work out.

My workout consisted of stroking my ego because I was STILL working out.

When I finally decided that was enough for today (a scant hour later) I walked outside and someone, somewhere, was making biscuits and gravy. I suspect it was the home cookin' restaurant a block away. That smell ought to be illegal. Especially to someone who's worked out for an hour and is weak with hunger and high on endorphins. I cannot be responsible for my actions.

I shall, however, overcome and have flax seed pudding (yum) which is good for my heart and could patch a wall in a pinch.

Again, smug and self-satisfied.

I Wasn't There

I didn't go to work yesterday.

Oh, I had a full book and I did everyone's hair, but they did not have the benefit of my company. The body was there, but the rest of me was in parts unknown.

Lunchtime rolled around and I went home for an hour and a half. I patched together some tuna fish salad (healthy) then, since I'd been so good, had a piece of chocolate cake, a banana and some chunky monkey ice cream.

My mood was much improved.

I practically skipped back to work.

Chocolate.

Who needs Prozac?