Sometimes I wonder why I blog.
Like today, when I feel there is nothing of any interest whatsoever to write. I guess life isn't always interesting.
Sometimes I feel caught in the web of life. Held captive by time and obligations.
There are so many things I would love to do. Interests that I have but can't pursue because of other obligations. Life.
Why is it, when I go to bed at night, I see artistic visions but later, when I go to the studio to work, those visions have evaporated into thin air?
I think I want to take some art classes. Those art classes I didn't get to take in high school, but wanted to.
I'm scared to death.
When would I do it?
What if I don't have enough ability? What if I'm just a wannabe artist?
Who the hell cares? My art is my art and not held to any standard. I do it for me.
I care too much what other people think. I want approval. I really try to cultivate the "I don't care what you think" attitude, but when it comes down to it... I care. A lot.
Art is so personal. That's a part of me that people are looking at. A display of my heart in tangible form.
Why do we seek approval? Why do we feel we need that validation?
It's at our very core. The need to be valued.
I think there is another need at our core...the need to create. Maybe it's stronger in some than others. I hear people tell me all the time: "I'm not creative." Hogwash. I think everyone is creative in some way. People think creativity is only displayed in artistic forms like art. I say look at accountants. They can do things with numbers that I never could! That's creative!
I've always wondered where I got my artistic bent. There's an another artist in the aunts, I think. I think my dad is artistic. He has always tinkered with something as long as I can remember. He takes things apart to see how they work. Or if they don't work, he takes it apart to see if he can figure out how to make it work. He has such ingenuity. He's the champion of thinking outside the box.
Well, I guess this blog is another form of my art...
because it's a piece of my heart,
out here on display for the world to see.
(Please forgive how this is all wadded up at the end. Blogger won't let me space it the way I want to. I'm at the mercy of my instruments.)